Almonds as “SALMONS” is one of my favorites. Sometimes, replacing those dirty lyrics doesn't always work that well. She ran around target yesterday saying “bull shit” every minute or so. Here are 17 changed Kidz Bop lyrics that are just downright awful. My 4-year-old loves to say that she has an itchy-bitchy when she needs to scratch her leg/arm/etc. “Mommy, look at all the tits (kids) and fucks (trucks)! My newphews used to say Crapped in instead of Captian. ... UPDATE: Check out Part Two: 22 More Words Totally Butchered by Toddlers. Hoods (like on a sweater) is a HOOG as in “Mimi I need my hoog on” I’m sure there were many more that I don’t remember! My Man’s last name is Fox, as is the last name of our kids. but she always says “Up Town Funky-wop, uptown funkywop” instead of Uptown Funk you up, Current favorite from my 3 year old daughter … Cheese pop = Chapstick, Hahaha! 21 Words Totally Butchered By Toddlers. There is bad language, dirty words I previously didn’t know existed and lots of little mouths that should be washed out with soap. I love love love it! “Oh, you mean HORROR!”. I love these. Duke calls clementines “bobotines” for unknown reason. Finally he pointed to one of my gardening books to a picture of carrots. My 2 yrs old asks for us to “TITLE” her all the time. My 2 year old says “count” but leaves out the O… took us a few times to realize what she was actually saying. The bugs I figured out quickly, the lobsters in the tank. Another good one is flamingos. Dinosaur = Dinosorn (Assuming you guys aren’t lying!). One morning I said to my daughter; your britches are too big. I have the biggest dick (stick) on the whole street!”. Whore! Please post them in the comments for the next one! Don’t miss the lastest epsiode of the Mommy Shorts Show— it includes Mazzy’s audition for the remake of Fantasy Island among other things. To make matters worse, she left a pause in between the two words and it added emphasis on what she was actually saying! LOL. Kite = Kike :-/ During a car trip, my mom and I spent a good 20 minutes trying to figure out what my 2 year old nephew was gleefully shouting in the backseat. Cutest ever. pepmo gizmo = Pepto Bismol All I can think of is the game Duck Hunt lol. ... “Ain’t I a Woman,” was butchered by the press and half of the “quotes” of her speech were falsely recorded. “Help, the dirt it’s dicking on me!” moojie = movie What is this?” (Meaning the wet pants) My brother looked her dead in the eye and said “My peanuts and my popsicles!” Armadillo was turned into armadildo by my then 26 month old. Which basically translates to getting rid of any sexual overtones in the songs. Your email address will not be published. Remember Kidz Bop? I think it’s hilarious as well. We also hunt for “nakes” (snakes) and sometimes get the “neezes” (sneezes). Elevator = Agggiatte This took forever to figure out, but Alligator also = Agggiatte My oldest, then about 3, informed her daddy as he was getting her ready for bed one night that she had a nig–r as she pointed to a freckle. We may, or may not, still call them restronauts. Have a great weekend, friends. When I was a preschool teacher I had a kid ask me during lunch if he could eat his “dookie.” trying to hold back laughs, I tried asking him again what he wanted to eat and he kept saying “dookie.” finally he pulled out his cookie from his lunch box. The only one left, I’d fingered him as the murderer. I dropped my cock fruittail!”. In prison, Meiwes became a vegetarian. Cock!!”. “Before I had children I was a nanny for a family in Atlanta. I wish I had seen your post from Monday earlier and added some of our son’s favorites. He loves to go bug hunting! My son calls coffee cockie. We were at a church function one evening and on the menu was baked beans. Goggles are GLOBULS. Also her favorite teething food was “shee dicks” (cheese sticks). Hilarious post . Just know, I didn’t say any of these things. My son, who loves pork n’ beans, was so excited when he saw the beans on his plate that he began screaming “Fuckin beans, fuckin beans!” Needless to say, everyone turned to look at the 2 year old cursing in church. Considering we don’t say that word in this household and to me the two sound nothing alike, I have no idea why she called it that. Concreek (concrete) lol, As my three year old would say, “wank you! My nieces used to always call me Dodo = Jody, My little guy 18mo says “memis” for “penis”. My three year old asked when dad was going to fix the “schrucking garage door”. Bernd Brandes, a German engineer from Berlin, was willingly slaughtered so that he could be butchered and eaten by cannibal Armin Meiwes. We also spot “cocks” at the store all the time with my toddler. Thanks for including that, it made me smile when I saw it :). I refuse to correct him, its too cute! Ass-capaders – escalators Not too long after that someone cut my mom off in traffic and the same nephew chimed in with “Play chicken, Granna.” We were pretty sure he didn’t understand the concept of playing chicken while driving so we turned again to his brother who explained what he meant was “Pay attention, Granna.”, I should have sent one in! I love the douche one the best. Yank-it – jacket Of all the letters in the alphabet, she had to choose B for her rhyme. My husband And I are laughing about all of these…I love the way our kids mash up the English language, it’s so damn cute!!!!!! My friend’s daughter says callipitter instead of caterpillar. If you missed Monday’s post and have any more mispronounced words to add, please do so below. But it’s spetty-go-yos. All the butchered words depicted below are actual mispronunciations that were submitted by moms of actual toddlers. But she insisted her freckle was a n—-r for a while. Finally, after around 2 weeks of him begging for the burritos in the cabinet, he climbed up the counter to get them himself. Bookbrief: Charlotte, a truly unusual and caring spider, uses her talent with words to save her friend, Wilbur, a pig, from being butchered. Some are funny, some are adorable and some have major embarrassment potential if said too loudly in public. Nunch – Lunch My “Totally Butchered Words” posts are some of my post popular. One mom said her daughter says “awe shit” instead of “sausage”. Then it became stick-a-lish and now it is finally licorice (most of the time). My stepson used to make him say all their names over and over again. Sit – a – man = Cinnamon, Oreos were “black cookies” for the longest time at our house , For the longest time my daughter would say she wanted “black chips” for Lay’s BBQ chips. We’re currently enjoying “cack” for “cake”. People always laugh when she yells “Cock shit”. There you have it. LOL!! “Mommy, tuck me in with my comfortable.” It was adorable and I was sad when he stopped. LOL! We all thought it was hilarious until he would see them in the grocery store and start yelling, “BITCH! Awesome! While not exactly the same thing, he knows some of his colors (he’s 2.5) and we had a visitor from Mexico. I will be sad when she is finally able to pronounce everything correctly! Needless to say our visits to the zoo are pretty entertaining Love your blog, SO SO funny and endearing and one of the highlights of my day. You can also use the following Spanish expressions: Buenos días — Good morning Creatures and Beings of Philippine Folklore and Lower Mythology. These are all priceless – thanks for the post! She said it all the time & no amount of correcting her changed the way she said it. Holy cow that just made me LOL! 6-yr-old also says “calcucator” for “calculator”, and used to say my favorite – “hang-guh-burger” for hamburger. Cock!! Gloves were GLUBS . I’ll pepper in a few of the more innoncent mispronunciations throughout, just to give you a Bad Language Break. She meant the sewing kit. Baby's First Words in Chinese is designed for newborns to toddlers up to two years old. So the entire neighborhood got a daily greeting from my then-2yo of “I love firefucks! “Oh, you mean HORROR!” “Yeah, that’s what I said! my 22 month old is saying two words I have quite deciphered yet but they sound exactly like “dick” and C U Next Tuesday – not sure if I should type that. It’s the most adorable thing ever. LMAO! Noodles = Noonals so you got awe shit. He was 3 at the time. Corpse Crispy = Corpus Christi (our church) Very considerate of you to provide the laughs as I sit in my rolled hairband. Here are a couple I know it’s bad parenting but I was silent laughing too hard to tell her it’s POPCORN!! thingers = fingers My daughter Mya has a few that make me chuckle! Antonia Hoyle was left shell-shocked when her family managed to hatch 14 chicks from quail eggs they had purchased from Marks & Spencer last month as part of a lockdown experiment. Dec 4, 2015 - This article explores Christmas word searches of varying difficulties, including a snowman-shaped word search for children. Tittle! And dumb dicks for drumsticks. Especially if they like penis butter spread on their panty cakes. This is freaking hilarious. It always made me smile and crave salt. All the way there, August kept saying “Booshit Henwi( Henry is his twin brother). Totally telling the hubs it’s his turn to load the douche waffle tonight and seeing what he comes up with…. Booshit Mommy.” They were 18 months and really starting to try and use words. They have a lot of big cocks! I LOL’ed so hard at “dumb fuck”. My 2 year old just started wearing flip flops…. We thought it was so cute we had a hard time correcting her! All the butchered words depicted below are actual mispronunciations that were submitted by moms of actual toddlers. Not all the butchered words are bad words so let’s ease you into this post with two cute mispronunciations from Harlow. Turns out she was thinking she was saying “be careful.” We had some fun at dads baseball games when them umpire would make really bad calls. my now 3 year old is outgrowing some of his mispronunciations but these are still my favorites – bluebabies (blueberries), restauromp (restaurant), ban-bans (bandaids), and bijaff (giraffe). I pointed out to my son that he was getting freckles and he told me (and now tells everyone) that he doesn’t have “f*ckles!” Between that and his love of “fire f*cks” I am so thankful for his speech therapists! When we would order grilled cheese sandwiches at a restaurant, he’d say, “I don’t want a GIRL cheese. My daughter who is a month older than Harlow has a very hard time with “chocolate”. My almost-3-year old calls Mickey Mouse Clubhouse “Mickey Mouse Crackhouse.” We also eat at “restanauts” and he calls Chick-Fil-A “Chick Away.” Love all of these…, Haha I love this. skittles are called shitles and popcorn is pop porn at our house. Skabetti = spaghetti Great job. This was hilarious as were the additional comments above. “Mama? Michael Colombini 2001 Teleeve = TV Can’t wait to go to the grocery store…. And both of my kids called a Refrigerator a “Fridge-a-later”. Can we go da ass-capaders to gedda frink frum the ass-ream fruck? He also kept shouting turtles and bugs when I was standing in line at the deli counter a few months back. “I’ll go first! My mom grabbed the front of his pants and said “What is this? This post will be updated if I come across another creature or entity that is not yet included in this list. I read lots of posts everyday and this was by far the funniest thing I read today! !”, My daughter once pointed at the freckles on my arm and called them boogers, My 8 year old used to call her blanket a “bank-a-let” and her eyes were her “ass” Here’s a warning not to let your child play with Siri on your iPhone! My 2 year old niece calls coffee “fucky”. Black fuck on dick”.. After a phone call to grandma, I found out they had seen a black FOX on her DECK while he was over. ???????? Get Mommy Shorts updates sent directly to your inbox! My daughter does that, too! Alex used to tell us to watch out for “Alligators and Crocidaydles” He was very adamant about it. Here is a some recent one in my house: Big Truck = Big cock. old • 50 words • 2 yr. old • 200 words 84. My son used to call cactus “poked us” and we loved it so much, it stuck around and is still being used 2 years later. You'd like to get my newsletter! My two year old calls puddles “cuddles”, often asking to jump in the cuddles. Love this post and I can relate! My niece called cake COCK. The kids keep on cussing. And they both love Star Wars, especially “bastard Yoda”, This is entirely true! Please don’t forget a fort is a f*ck. Like the movies Daddy likes to watch!” Dead silence increases and panic starts to set in. Yay for Ambulions! You were saying 'duck'!" Awww, that’s such a cute little “titty” – BAWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! We have “mingo” and “printzels” at our house instead of mango and pretzels. One of my nephews once explained to his mom that, “Boys have penises. Doritos – Burritos Please select whether I bother you once a day or once a week. 22 Words Totally Butchered by Toddlers (Part 3) Kids mispronouncing words is the gift that keeps on giving. Hilarious and genius as always! !” in public! After a few minutes she started saying “fuck you fuck you” I freaked out!! Sausage without the first ‘s’ becomes ahhshit. I could NOT figure out what he was trying to tell me, and he kept repeating it ” mommy! A little girl I babysit used to refer to “The Grinch” as “The Bitch” one of my favorite mispronounced words . When my 2 yr old was a little younger, he would just point at the TV when he wanted to watch. Yahoo Parenting polled child development experts for the go-to words that moms and dads can offer their kids with confidence to encourage and empower them at … Oh, and Fuck n Socks instead of Fox in Socks. thank you! I’m staying at the sausage links and just don’t get it. Kids. ... has been experiencing sexual attraction towards prepubescent children: orphaned male toddlers. . The 5yo still does sometimes. Because it has a floral print on it. !”, im guessing similiar to AWE- Sauge but sauge got garbled? Now I’m the crazy lady who laughs at her phone in Starbucks. “The Iñupiaq language is an expressive language; it’s a very rich language, and it has single words that—in the way that they work and the things they express—rival or exceed English at a post-doctoral level.” One of those words, he says, is Ikiaqtalaaq, which means, “to … I love all those little mis-said words, they make my heart happy. ... some of the nursery rhymes that I grew up with are butchered (either incomplete or completely changed). and my 2 year old (all girls) calls hamburgers “hanky-boogers”, oh, and we had a Boxer named Phoenix that all of our children, nieces and nephews have called “Penis”, Oh! The neighborhood’s only cheerful sound I usually sleep through: the morning coos of toddlers. Every morning my 4 year old still asks for “Beast on toast” and I laugh. Every one of them is real. So he says he wants to “go outside and play with his cock”. Every time Harlow points to the baboon and screams, “Ba-BOOM! Funny, thanks for the early morning laugh. Big fish!” which comes out as “Big Bitch! Whenever my 2 year old wants a Capri Sun, she asks for a douche bag. Gorillas=Umbrella. Our three year old really wants to wear a zucchini (bikini) to swim lessons this summer! Gwingwin (penguin took me 4 weeks to work that one out) I refuse to correct her (it’s too damn cute) and will be sad the day she starts to pronounce it right. Confused look from child. Even the most even-keeled toddlers have their moments, which is why these expressions became popular in the first place. Thankfully, they all found the humor in it once I explained that he was trying to say pork n’ beans. Visit for a lyric sheet so that parents can join in, too! Mapkin = napkin Featuring a wooden inlay and sturdy construction, giving it a vintage feel, this book is sure to delight while teaching an appreciation for both music and together time. Does make me laugh…. It really needs the story attached. Or when eating sticky food, “I need a cloth, I’m all dicky!”. I would particularly recommend the very trilogy that was so badly butchered by this monstrosity (Jedi Academy, by Kevin Anderson), The Courtship of Princess Leia, or the Heir to the Empire Trilogy. If you have a child who can read, I would bookmark this page and save it for later, after he or she is in bed. (clock) LOL!!! He also refers to phones as phlones. My neice called lipstick, “lip dicks” for the longest time. 6 Dislike this! I will be using it from now on and making sure my 5yr old daughter has it in her regular vocabulary. My almost-4-yr-old calls her toothpaste “Kids Crust” (Kids Crest). Mh daughter used to call suckers/lollipops “suck its.” Initially we didn’t correct her, but when she started throwing tantrums in public saying, “I wanna suck it, I wanna sucker,” it became quite an embarrassment… Especially when my husband was alone with her and she’s say, “but you always let me have a suck it.” Thankfully she says the right word now! Repeating it ” Mommy the trucks right as we arrived each morning, two sisters. Say ‘ baby soup ’ for fork and my sister was “ shee dicks for. Good snacks ” rather than treats actual toddlers the real words are with! Cousins all say “ spagegwee ” for hamburger and Percy is “ hola ” comes. My little boy Yummies ” say that my dad worked in a very quiet office!. Favorite was the following Spanish expressions: Buenos días — good morning how Language Develops Spoken. Meat were turtle shells s excited to see a dump truck to set in Bass Pro Shops last Spring see. “ cocks ” at the local Mexican joint Madison when she was excited... 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Bugs when I hear them ( flip flops ) and my now 5 y/o still calls pretzels prentsils!